This week's chapter was a little delayed because my son's birth and hospital stay eclipsed my production schedule. Marshall was born on October 8th after 24 hours of labor. His mother is recovering beautifully and the boy is healthy as a horse and twice as hungry.
I wonder if I was given too much information about all the things I'm supposed to feel at this stage of fatherhood. I love my son and his mother deeply, but it is currently manifesting as a sort of quiet, gentle joy. It runs very deep, I believe, but it lacks exuberance. All the movies and TV shows where a man wanders around after the birth with a glow in his eyes, a spring in his step, and a cigar for every passersby provide beautiful metaphors for how I feel, but certainly don't portray it with any reality.
The true miracle is not how happy I feel, but how calm I am about things like poop and spit-up. The most disgusting, unpredictable expulsions of fluid from another person are only small annoyances that I clean up while humming to my son and joking about it all. It truly is the result of a deep, loving contentment that is new, lovely and easy to miss if you aren't looking for it.
As for this podcast and blog... Well, it's something I'm doing for my son as well as for myself. It's the act of faith I can continue to perform while I'm too busy to spend much time writing the second novel in the Duryan Chronicles. An act of faith designed to get me through to the next phase of life when my creativity can manifest itself again. At the moment all my imaginings feel buried under the weight of reality. So, twice a month I will post a chapter and write a few lines and hope, hope, hope that my ideas will find their wings again.
I am excited about this week's chapter. You will get to meet Aaron and Gloat and spend some more time with Sentrus and Rhyn as they prepare to renew the fight of their lives. And Sentrus will try not to embarrass himself in front of a pretty girl.